FACT: Women make the sexiest sounds in bed
me: if youre sexually frustrated and you have a blog clap your hands
millions of sexually frustrated bloggers started clapping their hands. The sound of tha clapping hands was so loud the world started shaking and it broke into thousands of tiny pieces
madeagoestohell: when i was 6 or 7 this moth flew into my house and i really wanted to keep it as a pet and for some reason my parents said yes so we just let it chill in the house overnight and then the next morning i was like sprinting downstairs because i was so excited to see my moth and i fucking stepped on it and it died so then i cried for like 65.8 hours and forced my parents to put it...
Stories never really end…even if the books like to pretend they do. Stories...– Cornelia Funke, Inkspell (via libraryland)
kerzeriver: tardisexuality: They’re called...
internet profiles throughout the ages
me age 13: Konnichiwa Watashi Wa (thats My Name Is for all you n00bs) EmoPixieTenshiSama. I love anime and it is the only thing I care about. I hate my parents and I hate my school. I hate tanned sluts and the color pink. I love hot topic and eyeliner. I am married to Edward Elric. Britney Spears sucks, the only good music is MCR. yaoi is all that matters. I only eat pocky and ramen.
me age 15: Hello, I love anime but not the ~mainstream stuff that is on adult swim. I'm not a weeaboo. I hate otakus. Ugh, stop saying kawaii, you aren't Japanese. I am Lolita and it is NOT a cospay, ugh bad lace, ur doing it wrong noob!
me now: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ PONPONPON I AM MORE KAWAII THAN ALL YOU BITCHES (｡◕‿◕｡) KAWAII SUIGOI DESU ANGELIC PRETTY KYARY DOKIDOKI YES SUIGOI DESU (/・・)ノ.:*・°☆
daves adventures in parenting
dave: hey i shredded a whole thing of tin foil under here
bro: Why the fuck would you do that?
bro: Are you nesting again?
dave: i have my egg with me too
bro: Dude, that thing is probably dead.
bro: I mean, it hasn't hatched yet, right?
dave: just wait another week
dave: also hey
dave: did you know you can train starlings to talk
dave: im going to teach it to say nutsack